On September 25, 2017, I made the best decision of my life. I decided to follow Jesus. I am so glad that I journal that day to remember how I was feeling at that moment.
" I am finally admitting that my whole life I thought I was a Christian by knowing that the Lord exists and Jesus Christ came down and died for our sins, but now after Converge, I am asking myself do I really have a relationship with God intimately, and the answer is NO. That doesn't mean that I haven't been believing it simply means that I haven't been living for the Glory of God only. I haven't been following Him with my whole heart. My soul is not black nor white, I've been caught up in the middle serving with my half self. I've been taking control of my life, I've been doing things for my glory.
I haven't been living by the word and for the word. I've been using my body as it is my own, I've been letting myself be surrounded by the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and I've been pleasing society instead of God. And this is my wake-up call. Lord, I want to take it one day at a time into changing my life but I can't do it without you. Please show me the way, come to my life, take control of my life, for you are my only God."
To give you some context, I left Florida to go on exchange in Louisville Kentucky in 2017. Going to Kentucky was a hard journey for me. For the first time in my life, I had no one to depend on. It was a lonely road that made me bitter and angry. In the midst of it all, God placed amazing individuals in my life to lead me to him. I attended a retreat called converge which is where my heart was transformed.
5 years later, I realized that I needed to lose my parents' support to learn to depend on God alone. I needed to be away from my friends to learn that the Holy Spirit is the best friend one can have in their corner. I needed to be away from Miami to learn that I can have fun without drinking alcohol. God's hand was always over my life; I was just too blind to see it.
During the early years, I would celebrate today's anniversary in a big way. I even celebrated online during Covid. I forgot the date this year. How do I forget such a date? Why did I forget? I was asking myself a million and one questions. If you know me personally, you know that I love to celebrate. I know all of my friends' birthdays. It took me a while to realize why I forgot. In the beginning, my salvation was something that I couldn't stop talking about. I felt so undeserving of this gift that I would scream at the top of my lungs about it every chance I got. I got comfortable this year.
I was beating myself up all day and didn't even want to write an article. I am so glad I serve a faithful God. He reminded me to go to the beginning and go back to the heart of worship. I started to serve at church and it just so happen that today is the first time I saw my welcome video on the screen. I don't believe in coincidence; I firmly believe that God knew I would be condemning myself and he let me see that video for the first time today to remind me that he is with me. I am grateful that 5 years later God continues to work all things together for my Good. I say this all the time; if you knew me before 2017 and haven't spent time with me lately, you no longer know me. God has transformed my life. Someday, I don't even recognize myself. My prayer for you today is that you will remember the goodness of God. May he always gives you a new song, a new testimony.
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