Daenne's Journal Sip and Chat
Daenne's Journal hosts monthly Sip and Chat virtually to bring readers across the globe together to talk about topics that we often don't talk about. In this section, you will learn all about the good topics we discussed at Sip and Chat, but there is nothing better than experiencing it yourself.
Guest Speaker: Shanorah Alexandre, M.S.
Our guest speaker and regular attendee Shanorah continues to bring topics that make us think deeply. Our topic was Lifetraps. We started the night by taking a quiz. The quiz aimed to determine whether or not we have life traps. Lifetraps are patterns that started during our childhood and reverberates throughout our life. Our life traps determine how we think, feel, act, and relate to others. If not addressed, they can trigger strong feelings like anger, sadness, and anxiety.
We talked about the 11 types of life traps:
Mistrust and abuse
"We can appear to have everything; social status, ideal marriage/relationship, respect of people, career success, but unable to savor life or our accomplishments." ~Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko
Our speaker shared this great quote with us and recommended the book (Reinventing your life by Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko). We highly encourage you to read this book before the next Sip and Chat.
We were all touched by the topic and couldn't get enough. Even if most of us were triggered, everyone wanted our speaker to come back for a deeper dive into the topic. Believe me when I say, you want to come next month.
Click here to RSVP for April's Sip and Chat for Life Traps Part 2.
Panelists: Dr. Kezia Addo and Emy Charlot, NP
Our first Sip and Chat of the year was one for the books! We were so happy to see so many new faces. We learned so much about what it means to be an immigrant in the United States. Our panelists Emy Charlot and Dr. Kezia Addo did such a fantastic job sharing their stories.
We learned about the lottery system to gain a visa. This is something that most of us did not know about. We also learned about the limited specialists that Haiti has. Immigrants face a lot of challenges. It was very shocking to hear that English was not a strong one for our panelists while it was the hardest for the audience. We all agreed that English was one of the hardest things for us. Despite many challenges that immigrants face, we remain one of the most hard-working groups of people.
The most important part of the night was after talking about the things that are not going well in our respective countries, we decided we would take actions. We made the commitment to have this conversation again at the April's Sip and Chat. If you are passionate about making a change, mark your calendar for April 18th to join the conversation.
Guest Speaker: Nadine Richard
Our Sip and Chat community continues to grow. It was so great to see so many new faces. Our speaker Nadine did such an amazing job talking to us about forgiveness. It was great to see how everyone have a different definition for forgiveness. For some it means peace of mind, no resentment, no grudges, and freedom.
Forgiveness is a constant attitude. Chances are we will be hurt again. The aspect that made the night longer and funnier was minor vs major offense. We learned that what may be a minor offense for some are considered major for most. Anything related to soccer is major for the men who were present.
Most of us agreed that once you forgive you no longer hold grudges. Resentment is often a sign that we have not fully forgiven that person.
We realized that sadly, we will not always get a "I am sorry", but we must forgive. Forgiveness has to do more with us than the other person. You know you forgive when you: don't hold grudges, you wish good for the person, and you pray for the person.
Guest Speaker: Dr. Rubens Petit-Homme
Topic: What's On Your Bookshelf/Purpose
Our Sip and Chat community continues to grow, and our speakers continue to raise the bar high. Our guest speaker Dr. Rubens Petit-Homme shared his bookshelves with us while teaching us about purpose.
We started the night by simply chatting about what's on how bookshelves. Many of us do not own a bookshelf. What we all realized is that our bookshelves say a lot about us. To do anything meaningful, you need to: find your interest, find your why, have a growth mindset, have a strategy, and have grit. Dr. Petit-Homme also spoke about values which are the things that we live by. He encouraged us all to write down our values.
Learn your Values and develop your purpose, Write your Plan, to Lead the World the way you want to see it! ~ Dr. Rubens Petit-Homme
Angela Duckworth, PhD, Grit
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Deepak Chopra, MD, SynchroDestiny
Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich
Darren Hardy, The Compound Effect
Timothy T Schwartz PhD, The Travesty of Haiti
Stanley Andrisse, PhD, From Prison Cells to PhD
Mohammad Yunus, PhD, Bank to the Poor
Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
Guest Speaker: Anne Noel, M.S.
Topic: Boundaries and Consent
September's Sip and Chat was one of the best ones we've had this year. The topic was Boundaries and Consent. Our guest speaker Anne D. Noel shared her heart with us.
We started the night by sharing how we learned about consent growing up. This was a special night because we were mostly Haitians. Growing up in a Haitian household, we all shared that we didn't know about consent which is why a lot of violations and rape happen. Often time, children don't know how to say NO because saying no was disrespectful. We ought to look out for our children and teach them about boundaries.
Panelists: Kiana Ovalle, Mary Tuttle, Tracey Louis
June's Sip and Chat is one for the books! The topic was "Marriage." For the first time, we had three panelists joining us. Mary has been married for 35 years, Kiana for four years, and Tracey is engaged. We had the opportunity to have a different perspective on Marriage.
How did you know that things were getting serious? Someone mentioned that they were given an apartment key and another their boyfriend asked to speak to their parents. When it comes to chores or any other responsibility, 50/50 doesn't always work. Everyone needs to be committed to working and ensuring the other person is being served.
The question that we spent the most time on what the thought of having a best friend of the opposite sex. Most of the audience and the panelists agreed that one's spouse should be their best friend.
We know that conflict will always happen whether in friendship or romantic relationships. The most effective thing one can do is learn your conflict resolution style. Some people like to handle things right away, some people like to avoid conflict, and some people keep things in until they blow up. Learning your conflict resolution style early on can save you a lot of heartaches.
It is important to have difficult conversations before getting married. You ought to talk about your past traumas, finances, family, career, ministry, and anything else that is important to you. All the panelists agreed that pre-marital counseling is vital for a successful relationship.
In all, put God at the center of your marriage and let the holy spirit lead you.
At the end of this Sip and Chat, I shared my newest project Marriages Work, click here to learn more about this project.
Guest Speaker: Shanorah Alexandre, M.S.
Topic: Attachment Style
May’s Sip and Chat set a new time record of 3 hours and 45 minutes. At the 2-hour mark, I was concerned, so I asked everyone if they wanted our guest speaker to come back next month. EVERYONE was willing for the topic to be done.
What took us so long? Well, ATTACHMENT did! Our guest speaker Shanorah Alexandre, M.S. started Sip and Chat by asking 3 questions.
What is attachment?
How is attachment developed?
When is it healthy???
Everyone had a different answer to all 3 questions. She unpacked each one for us. We learned that there are 4 different attachment styles. The attachment topic stirred up our hearts to search from within. We cannot talk about attachment without bringing up God!
"Is my relationship with God still the same if I don’t go to church? Does God love me the same if I don’t go to church?" someone asked.
The answer is simple: we cannot do anything to earn God’s love. He loves you! Going to church is a pivotal part of our relationship with God and other believers because it helps us to create relationships and be part of a community. We talked about whether or not Jesus and therapy can coexist. Our guest speaker pointed out that, just as a sick person can go to the doctor and God can use the doctor to heal them, you can seek Godly counsel and God can use a therapist to help you discover tools to cope with difficult life situations. We also discussed the parent-child relationship when it comes to attachment. What does that look like in a "good home" or a "broken home," and what are the results we've seen so far? We highlighted that God desires that parents raise their children in the Lord's discipline and instruction. However, some parents (both believers and nonbelievers) appear to miss some of their children's needs. Parents must stay in prayer on a regular basis, asking God to reveal to them the areas in which they are failing to meet the needs of their children so that they can develop a secure attachment style.
Bible verses shared: Genesis 18:18-19, Romans 8:16, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 John 2:15-17, Isaiah 1:18, Luke 15, Romans 12:2, and 1 cor 2.
Recommended Instagram pages for mental wellness/positivity: @thesecurerelationship,@blackfemaletherapists
Book recommendation: Reinventing your life by Jeffrey E Young.
Ultimate recommendation: WE ALL NEED TO TRY THERAPY. Contact your employer/HR department to ask about possible free sessions.
We truly had a RICH conversation and I wish you were there. Don’t miss the next Chat because there’s nothing like being in the moment. Click here to RSVP for the next chat TODAY!
Guest Speaker: Sheyla Pierre, MBA, MSW
Topic: How to Bring Nature Inside with the Right Houseplant
This month was the first time we had a guest speaker for Sip and Chat; it was amazing! Our guest Sheyla Pierre talked about bringing nature inside of our homes.
You know there is no Sip and Chat without a good trivia. Our guests had a trivia and a Sip and Chat regular attendee won a "plant of her choice". We even had some time to take a selfie with our plants. Don't forget to tag @daennesjournal and @sipandchatdj on your plant selfie. Sheyla was gracious enough to share her slides with us. If you are subscribed to Daenne's Journal, the slides were sent. If you are not, please subscribe, and I will email them to you.
Of course, I had to become a plant mom after hearing all the benefits of having a plant. I've always loved plants for the aesthetic it brings to the home, but I have always been skeptical about my ability to keep them alive until I was educated at Sip and Chat.
This was one of my favorite Sip and Chats; we hope to see you at the next one on May 25th, 2022 at 7:30 p.m. EST 4:30 p.m. PST.
Hostess: Daenne Dolce
Topic: Time Management and Self-Care
March's Sip and chat was held on March 16th, 2022 on zoom. We started the night by playing "read lips". It turned out quite a few people can hear by just reading lips. We revisited our goals for the year which we chatted about in January.
Our main topic was time management which led us to converse about self-care. When it comes to time management, we all agreed that it is difficult. For most of us, we are doing well in our professional lives, but not so well in our personal lives. It is very easy for us to get the job done, but we often put ourselves last. How can we pour from an empty cup? WE CANNOT. We talked about prioritizing ourselves and creating systems for time management.
Here are a few time management tips we discussed: set a goal, have a plan, set reminders, set boundaries, avoid distractions, break big tasks into small ones, set priorities, make a to-do list (daily, weekly, or monthly), and use a calendar.
To help us be more present and caring for ourselves, we made a self-care bucket list. Self-care bucket list: journaling, mediation, a spa day, going out to eat, positive affirmation, walking, running, hiking, watching sports, going on vacation, going on date nights, learning new skills, and watching tv.
Every Sip and Chat always leaves me speechless. The recap is great, but there is nothing better than the laughter and the real-time conversations we share. We hope you can join our next conversation.
Hostess: Daenne Dolce
The first Sip and Chat of 2022 was held on Zoom on January 20th. We started the night by playing Never have I ever and we crowned a saint for the night. Our topic of discussion was success. We found out that we all had a different definition for success, but we all had one thing in common. The common denominator was peace of mind/ healthy mental state. For a lot of us, Covid-19 taught us that material things will pass away, but our mental health has no price.
We also spent some time talking about goal settings. Some of us already had goals set for the year, and some of us had not yet written a goal. We all have bold, yet achievable goals for the year. We worked on action steps together because we know that we need to take action in order to attain those goals.
To achieve these goals, some self-help books were shared: The Four Agreements, Deep Work (Cal Newport), Professional Troublemaker, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, The Voice of Knowledge, and The 48 Laws of Power.
We hope you will participate in the next conversation.